17.05.2019

What no one ever tells you about hitting rock bottom is that you’ll fall through some of the hardest places you’ve ever been before you get there, not realizing that none of them are the all time low.

Glory & Gore.

Glo·ry

/ˈɡlôrē/

noun

1. High renown or honor won by notable achievements.

“To fight and die for the glory of one’s nation”

synonyms: renown, fame, prestige, honor, distinction, kudos, eminence, acclaim, praise, recognition, reputation.

2. Magnificence or great beauty.

“The train has been restored to all its former glory”
synonyms: magnificence, splendor, resplendence, grandeur, majesty, greatness, nobility.

Gore

/ɡôr/

noun

1. Blood that has been shed, especially as a result of violence.
“The film omitted the blood and gore in order to avoid controversy”
synonyms: blood, bloodiness; bloodshed, slaughter, carnage, butchery.

“Glory and gore go hand in hand”

21.11.2017

There will always be difficult people for us to face…the chronically insecure, the hopelessly stubborn, the hysterical complainers. Your ability to disarm these people will prove an invaluable skill.

Oh, the Places You’ll Go!

Congratulations!

Today is your day.

You’re off to great places!

You’re off and away!

 

You have brains in your head.

You have feet in your shoes.

You can steer yourself

any direction you choose.

You’re on your own. And you know what you know.

And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.

 

You’ll look up and down streets. Look ’em over with care.

About some you will say, “I don’t choose to go there.”

With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet,

you’re too smart to go down any not-so-good street.

 

And you may not find any

you’ll want to go down.

In that case, of course,

you’ll head straight out of town.

 

Oh, the Places You’ll Go!

 

– Dr. Seuss

Things We Got Wrong #1

For years mental health professionals have taught people that they can be psychologically healthy without social support. That ‘unless you love yourself, no one else will love you’ when in reality, the capacity to love cannot be built in isolation.

The Pretty Girl

When you’re the pretty girl, you take quite a bit of rubbish for your genetic make up. You’re forcefully fitted into certain boxes even before you part those pretty little lips, as people take it upon themselves to decide the kind of person that you are for you. You get used to compliments that often come with an assumption that you’ve built up some sort of superiority complex based on the supposed mass of accolades you’ve accumulated over time.

Being the pretty girl isn’t all it’s cut out to be. You’re met with such surprise when there’s more to you than meets the eye or expected presumption…like it’s such a shocker that the pretty girl can do big girl things. You’re treated like a child, being set aside and disregarded when situations of serious matter arise. Your opinion is never acknowledged at first pitch but only after it has received backing from the opinions of others.

When you’re the pretty girl, all your struggles are quickly diminished if not dismissed by others because they seem to ride on the idea that pretty girls don’t have it as hard. You automatically supposedly live a perfect life and all the kinks just manage to magically sort themselves out. All this because someone thinks you have a pleasant face. Stand firm beautiful.

Sorry? No You’re Not.

          I marvel immensely at writers who manage to put down their thoughts in poem. I mean, to find a set of assonating words that accurately describe how you feel…mad props. I on the other hand sometimes even struggle to find words, simple, non-rhyming words that decently fit the bill. Must be nice.

              Anyway, that piece of notion, ’twas not the point of this post but worry not, I’m getting there. Forgive me for the overabundant referral to myself but I’m quite the observant. One of the things I’ve noticed that we so often do is express regret. I mean, we apologize about everything from honesty to our own personal appearance and yes, I know, “it’s a conditioned reflex.” One that’s outrageously ridiculous and unnecessary though once you really think about it. Why do we apologize for unpleasant facts? Why do we feel the need to be sorry or even justify ourselves because we look tired or basically different from our usual selves? How come we’re expected to be apologetic for our unavailability at every waking moment that our presence is requested or even our unwillingness to participate in some of the activities that are thrown our way? As if we are not entitled to a choice to decline. There goes another thing we’re oh so sorry about many a time. Our choices, especially if they are not in favor of others around us. Some who may even be completely irrelevant to the cause but no, we’re sorry anyway.

            We need to start owning these things with no need to be penitent. Our passions, our unpopular personal qualities, our successes even though there are those that may be, for some reason, threatened by us and may insist that we are somehow infringing on their happiness by being successful in our endeavours. We should be proud and unapologetic when we let go of the toxicities in our lives and set boundaries that shield us from the things that we don’t want impeding with the values that we uphold.

              One other thing, maybe even the most important thing, that we need to stop being so damn remorseful for is other people’s behaviour. I mean, c’mon guys…(Myself included. This is also purposed as a self-given pep talk) We have no control over the choices people other than ourselves make so what makes us feel the need to be sorry for those very choices when they cause intended or unintended damage? Sure we can help pick up the pieces once the damage is done because we’re nice like that but to carry the weight of the blame? Honey, that’s not your job.

           These aren’t even half the things we need to review our grant of apology on but I hope with but a few mentioned, we’ll be able to reflect upon our actions and live much happier, unapologetic lives. This way, when the need to apologise for something actually does arise, it’ll exude more meaning because you’re not so sorry all the time and when you are, it must really mean something.

C’est froid non?

It’s cold outside, isn’t it? Step into a place we call society. A place where those who judge are constantly judged by those who perceive judging to be wrong. A place where rights are only handed to those who are privileged. A place where only certain members get to decide whats best for the rest of the community. A place where peace is only seen possible as an outcome of war. Where those who are different are classified as deplorable. Where people frequently ask about the person you want to be but then only allow you the choice they deem fit. Society. The aggregate of people living together in a more or less ordered community. If this is our perception of together, then our society needs to be redefined so that the way we look and act does not make us feel so confined. Where we can talk without having to always read between the lines. But for now, it’s still cold outside, isn’t it?

Extrovert, Introvert, Ambivert.

I’m an extrovert. I am boisterous, I am loud, and I am eccentric. I love being around people. I feel drained when I don’t have a reason to go outside or to do things with others. I don’t like to sit and do nothing all day or even just for a minute. I enjoy hearing about other people’s life experiences as I do recognize their relevance just as much as my own. I value self expression dearly. Don’t think you’re better than me simply because you’re an introvert, no. Introvert or extrovert, we are equal. I may prefer socializing to being home alone, but that doesn’t mean I can’t function without another human being. I can. I am independent. We were all made different, introvert, extrovert, ambivert even and nothing makes one type stand out above the others, which is great because there’s so much to learn about each other that makes us all such great individuals. Of late I’ve read so many articles on the internet that make introverts appear to be highly intelligent successful individuals (which they are) but extroverts such dependent, self absorbed, needy idiots who can’t go a second without another person and that I entirely disagree with. You’d be surprised by how intelligent many of the people that are so outspoken are. It isn’t right to judge anyone because of how they spend their free time. You like to watch Friends all weekend? Stay in and read a book on Friday nights? Great! I like to go places with my friends. It’s not a big deal. We can all do different things, spend our time in different ways and that shouldn’t be used as a determinant of how intelligent we are. Just a thought.

I Know You.

Hey, I know you. The second anything gets too close to the truth you laugh because it scares you. You’re terrified by the thought of anyone discovering what’s really on your mind cause you think that they’ll find a way to judge you even if they decline to admit it. Vulnerability doesn’t appeal to you. You only tell the truth at three in the morning or when you think it’ll sound too crazy to be true and would make for a good laugh. You’re fifty shades of mentally, emotionally or even both ways screwed but layer it up with what you want them to see cause you’re either too embarrassed or nonchalant to let it show and I don’t blame you. You’re secretly introverted while in solitude and have had moments when you’ve questioned everything affiliated with your existence and think to yourself, “they think they know me” and laugh. You also sometimes believe yourself to be one of the most kindhearted or loving or even one of the nicest people in the world and that’s beautiful because in that moment you experience happiness or at least a fraction of it. You get surprised by how similar we all can be sometimes and feel a sense of comfort when you see others go through things that you can relate to. You receive more criticism from yourself than anyone else does such that you see things from an angle where when they do it, it’s fine but when you do it, it’s a complete disaster. You hardly forgive yourself but instead try to forget, hoping that this way whatever it is that you did won’t affect you any further. Sometimes you do the weirdest things in solitude and laugh thanking the heavens that nobody’s around to see it. You wonder what it’s like to be loved in certain ways and paint a picture in your head that you deem perfect. You’re really not that unusual you know and I can’t say I know everything about you but I’m a bit familiar because sometimes I am you.